I almost didn't even go. There's an old joke (well, lots of old jokes) in The Program: if you want a quick meeting ask for the 6th/7th step. Quicker still, ask for a tradition. But my friend Kevin had been asked to give the lead at this closed discussion meeting and so I went with a couple of his sponsees to support him. That, and Kevin always has a great message. I was curious to see what he would do with the 4th Tradition ('Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.')
We read from the 12 & 12, all 3.5 pages of it.
Kevin talked about the tradition for about 15 minutes (skipping his
bio, and/or any drunkalogue, open talk angle almost entirely). It was a great
share, and I could've listened on for quite a while longer. I love the
technical bits of AA, the history, the social dynamics. All that geeky
stuff. I, Shocker!, tend to overthink things.
There
were at least 50 AAs attending this meeting, seated theater style. The
regulars are pretty aggressive about getting their shares in and if you
want to speak you really have to jump right in. In all the times I've
been there there have been about three quiet lulls. Anything I might
share usually gets said anyway, so I usually just listen. There was a
lot of talk about the word (and idea of) autonomy. About tolerance
regarding religion and other addictions. I hadn't read the chapter
itself in years probably and was musing on the idea of Middleton #1 (the
failed MegaChurchesque recovery facility) and rule #62 ('Don't take
yourself so damn seriously').
In
the end I kept the share to myself. It seemed others needed to speak
more. When I do this I sometimes come home and write them out. I call
these 'pearls', and I give them back online in this blog. The ideas
always find their way to a table not long after, too. God has a lot of
channels.
I
had a flashback to couple years into my recovery when I first read
about the idea of AA as 'a benevolent anarchy'. I think it was in
(oddly enough) the book of spiritual awakening stories 'Came To
Believe'. Being somewhat of a punk rock sort of guy I took to the
phrase immediately. And it made all kinds of sense. We don't have any
hard and fast rules, yet we all get along. How?
A
few weeks later I went to a concert with an old highschool friend, a
civilian (a 'normie', or 'earthling') who was going through a rough
divorce. We almost always wound up talking some kind of spirituality,
which inevitably led back to my recovery and the program. I try to
never gush about this stuff unless it's germane to the discussion. My
friend was curious about the 'structure' of the fellowship and I brought
up the benevolent anarchy model/concept. He was confused and asked,
'doesn't that just lead to a roomful of madmen, everyone shouting,
demanding their way?'.
I
had to think about that. No, it doesn't, but why? I think at the time
all I had was the phenomenon that in AA everyone wants everyone else to
succeed. All winners, no losers. That overrides all else, egos etc.
are for the most part left out in the cars. What I know now, after a few
more years in this joyous Cosa Nostra, is that all matters of politics
and organization/unorganization are governed by the 2nd Tradition ('For
our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority-a loving God, as
He might express Himself in our group conscience...'). I have seen this
work in real life, in real time (sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly),
as solid and real as well worn key in a familiar lock. It works in
group business meetings and in slightly heated discussions in offline
meetings after the meetings. In the end we all realize we must maintain
Unity through Autonomy. Yet another paradox! And this is true at all
levels: personal, group, regional.
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